lady_painangel (lady_painangel) wrote in teenagevoid,

I am angsty and I am neither shy nor emo about it... which alienates me.

My name is Lauren and I have gone through/am going through a lot of stuff in my life that makes it hard to just live. I have depression, mild OCD, insomnia, mild parinoia, biploar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and early onset arthiritis in my fingers which depresses me all the more because I may not be able to do all the creative stuff I want to do later in life. I'm a lot more mature than seventeen and I don't quite understand the crowd that is my age group and tend to push them away with words my fifty-year-old English teacher doesn't even know. 

I hate being pretty and smart and skinny, because it makes people think I'm a prep or like to abuse my talents or whatever... I hate people calling me on a Saturday night and berating me for reading instead of hanging out with friends. I hate people asking me to write for them or do their homework...

And I hate that because of all this, and because I say it, people think "oh, just another suicidal emo" and think I'm trying to gain attention.


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May 6 2010, 15:25:22 UTC 7 years ago

Hey,stop this kind of life. today am 20. Am from Russia. when i was 18 i was nobody,but this shit was stronger than me and broked me,i begun a small buisness,now am 20 and am the best car dealer in my city,i have more than 40 cars,and every day i sell from 3 to 4 buing new 3 cars and exchanging others..i dont sleep,i used drugs to keep my self in motion all this time,and i dont have a personal car,i have hundreds of green papers and they are in motion as me,my mobile is all in scotch i wear shitty pants but i proved my self and all that i have big russian i am free from drugs,i have alot of new audis and bmw and all you wish from kia to jaguar,i want to say that no matter what people think about you,no matter what you wrong with,do it and put a point. i have people 40 years old working on me,some of them sometimes see me and they think that i am cleaner worker..put when i go to party i take from 2 to 3 thousand of buxes,i took a car of my cars and i see my self as the big man. so what i wont to say for you,make money and shit on rules and what people would think..some came to my ofice they think that i am a seller not an owner and when we start to argui the say bring me the boss and then i show them my hand were is written The Boss. they begin to stop thinking of that ur owsome,ur stupid u dont have that and this,i didnt have anything and i made something that brings me all i need. do money boys!!! buy car in 7 thousand that costs 10 thousand and u will see hou it works! buy china made i phone that costs 50dollars and find an asshole to sell him it in 400 dollars telling him that the battery emptied write now its good phone i really need quickly money bla bla bla and you 350 dollars from no a dog and resell it. buy a ham and sell half of it,buy watches broke them and sell them then when people will come to fix them take extra money.. all that is examples buy and ressel and exchange it the formula of making money,motion all time in motion buy sell buy sell buy and sell then exchange buy sell motion motion. and even for writing this i tooked 30 dollars,time is budget now is more than i started to write and when i will send this he will be more than now.think about it! money is time!