lady_painangel (lady_painangel) wrote in teenagevoid,

I am angsty and I am neither shy nor emo about it... which alienates me.

My name is Lauren and I have gone through/am going through a lot of stuff in my life that makes it hard to just live. I have depression, mild OCD, insomnia, mild parinoia, biploar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and early onset arthiritis in my fingers which depresses me all the more because I may not be able to do all the creative stuff I want to do later in life. I'm a lot more mature than seventeen and I don't quite understand the crowd that is my age group and tend to push them away with words my fifty-year-old English teacher doesn't even know. 

I hate being pretty and smart and skinny, because it makes people think I'm a prep or like to abuse my talents or whatever... I hate people calling me on a Saturday night and berating me for reading instead of hanging out with friends. I hate people asking me to write for them or do their homework...

And I hate that because of all this, and because I say it, people think "oh, just another suicidal emo" and think I'm trying to gain attention.


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